I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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