do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
