we have pet lesbian snakes
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just cropdusted the office
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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