I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
