boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
