If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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