I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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