would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
