She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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