My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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