Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
