i think i have herpe
just one?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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