I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Everything about him screamed your future.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So vagazzling was a success
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