I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
