I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
