Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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