erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
