I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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