Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
