You're so nebulous sometimes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
