Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
