i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
