sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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