Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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