You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
