so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
