Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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