I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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