Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
