U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
tell me about the fingering
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