I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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