Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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