Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
