So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
