you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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