I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
