You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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