It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
