There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
