He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
