Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
