i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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