Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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