Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My penis needs a shock collar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
