so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
