i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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