at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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