just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
