oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Panties = found
Randomize
