I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
