I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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