That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
